Top 10 Needs of Wives and Husbands: Part 2

medieval_weddingLast Monday I presented the top ten needs of husbands and wives  as defined in the book,  “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” by Willard Harley, Jr.  Here is the post:

If your wedding was more than a week ago, you would probably agree with his list.  What sets Harley apart from other list-makers is how he breaks down the needs into 5 top needs for wives and 5 top needs for husbands.  How long you have been married might sway whether or not you agree with his differentiation.

The first time Tom and I presented this material at a marriage weekend we were teaching, we heard some protests from the married-less-than-five-year crowd and saw some definite nodding of the heads among the married-longer couples.  That trend has continued whenever we talk about these lists.

Once again, here is the list in random order.

  1. Honesty and openness
  2. Admiration
  3. Family commitment
  4. Sexual fulfillment
  5. Financial support
  6. Recreational companionship
  7. Affection
  8. Physical attractiveness
  9. Intimate conversation
  10. Domestic support

I wish I could cover up the next part and have you guess then lift the flap but I will leave it to you to figure out how to do that.

His Needs Her Needs Cover

(Amazon photo

Harley believes both partners have all 10 needs, just in differing order.

Willard Harley’s Top Five Needs of Wives

  1. Affection
  2. Intimate Conversation
  3. Honesty and openness
  4. Financial support
  5. Family commitment

And the Top Five Needs of Husbands

  1. Sexual fulfillment
  2. Recreational companionship
  3. Physical attractiveness
  4. Domestic support
  5. Admiration

Do you agree?  Disagree?  Do share in the comments!

Hope for the Best,



2 Responses to “Top 10 Needs of Wives and Husbands: Part 2”

  1. 1 Jennifer Hart March 25, 2013 at 4:31 PM

    I’m preparing for marriage, and reading the list for husbands makes me relieved and nervous at the same time. On one hand, I’m thinking: “Check, check…check…I can take care of these.” On the other hand, I feel a little performance anxiety in knowing that such fun things are now (gulp!) my job?

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