Intentionality in Marriage

1008634_love_and_hands Remember falling in love, counting the hours, reliving the moments on your pillow at night  (you know you did that!) who would thought staying connected would be an issue?

Add a few years, a few kids, job stressors, financial crises, aging parents, and one day you might realize you connect more on Face Book than you do with your spouse and you are on your way to becoming “that couple.”  You know the ones in the restaurant that don’t seem like they have anything to say to each other anymore.  We’ve all seen them and probably all hoped we would never get like that in our marriage.

In my almost 40 years of marriage, I’ve noticed strong connection doesn’t always just “happen” like in the beginning of a relationship, it is the result of intentionality.  Good patterns may just show up but they won’t stay long without a choice to keep them.

Most marriage gurus are big on promoting date nights or weekend getaways.  I love them too and realize they provide a big satisfaction spike because we are making an intentional choice to be together, do something fun and make an investment of both time and money in our relationship.

For sure, some of life is accomplished on the fly but connection that goes the distance starts with some intentional choices about how you are going to do dinners, weekends, date nights, TV shows, vacations, even getting those chores done.

Of course, a lot of choices need to get made over and over again but that’s OK.  The really big ones last a lifetime.

Hope for the Best,


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