Dates on our Hearts

My Grandmother Olive

My Grandmother Olive

At 6:20 this morning, the most important agenda item for me was to find out the date of my maternal grandmother’s death. I knew it was in 1971 but I was clueless on the month and day. Maybe it’s just me, but now that I am of a “certain age” my curiosity about the women in the family line before me is spilling over the usual fascination category.

Could be also that for the last nine years I have worn the grandmother sash in my family parade. Let me tell you, I have never felt old enough for that role but it delights me daily.

So before I boil the tea water, I spend the early segments of most days (about 40 minutes), digging through documents, following the maze of the genealogy sites, and trying to discover the grandmothers before me. Today it was that death date that eluded me. I knew my mom would know but I didn’t want to just ask, I wanted to find it.

And then I did with a sharp intake of breath. It was today, March 23, 1971. Crazy how those things work. Was there a memory of the heart wanting to step out of the past today and thus the search? My mind barely recalls the day in the spring of my junior year of college.

Like with a million other items, if only I knew than what I know now. I wish I had spent more time hanging out in my teenage years, asked more questions about her past, written more letters, grieved more. Losing someone who unconditionally loved me must have dealt a blow to my heart even if I didn’t recognize it at the time with all my important college activities. So sorry, grandma.

So I follow the trails, copy the photos I find and take most opportunities that present themselves to show up in my grandmother role. I don’t want to have regrets on both ends of that spectrum.

If you have a grandmother, giver her a call. If you are one, keep saying yes.

Hope for the best,

Tish

Fun with my oldest Grandaughter

Fun with my oldest Granddaughter

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4 Responses to “Dates on our Hearts”


  1. 1 Elaine Lewis March 23, 2015 at 5:24 PM

    Love this!! I had a grandma I was very close to and wish I had done what you expressed. I am grateful that I led her to the Lord and spent almost every Friday eve with her in my mid twenties. 

    Hope you are well Elaine 

    — Sent from Mailbox

    On Mon, Mar 23, 2015 at 3:58 PM, Hope for the Best

  2. 2 Letitia Suk March 23, 2015 at 5:27 PM

    Beautiful words. Precious Friday evenings for you both.

  3. 3 Ann Krumwiede March 24, 2015 at 11:35 AM

    The Christmas before last I contacted the parish priest in Ireland to find out my grandmother’s birth date. She was born in 1910. My mom knew the time she died but not her birth date. My grandmother died in 1932 at 22 years of age during childbirth. My mother was 2 years old.
    Tish, your blog confirms the quest we as older women embark upon. It is a part of who we are. I love your story, Tish, and the memory buried within that blossomed this spring day.

    • 4 Letitia Suk March 24, 2015 at 11:42 AM

      Oh Ann I can understand your desire to know as much as you can about your precious young grandma. Very cool to call to Ireland to answer that question. Keep digging. Thank you.


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