Posts Tagged 'Death of a father'

Miss You Today On Your Birthday, Dad*

10510011

Tish around 4 years old.

Happy Birthday Dad!  Wish we could celebrate tonight with a pineapple upside down cake and off-key singing. You were always hard to buy for, as many men are, but now I could shop online for you and surely find something unique…but of course, you’re not around to open my gift.

Did I ever thank you for teaching me how to play baseball or ride a bike?  I didn’t like it at the time when you insisted I learn how to drive stick shift before I could get my license but I am so grateful now.  I taught my husband you know 🙂

There are cool stories about you floating around like how you were the Adams County tennis champ and your brief stint as a police officer.  I wish I could hear about those adventures in your words.  I know you worked hard for us, sometimes two jobs at a time.  BTW, I loved that second job at the drive-in when we all watched the movies over and over under the stars.  It probably wasn’t as much fun for you.

I know we had 44 years together but there was so much more we both could have said.  “Relationship Parenting” was not an operating principle in your generation but I knew you loved me.

I wish you could have met these fabulous great-grandchildren of yours.  I hope you can see them from your vantage point and you will be glad to know, Mom dotes on them every chance she gets.  Don’t worry, I will pass on the stories so they will know you too.

Tony Wiewel around 14 years old 9/3/1923-2/25/1994

So cheers to your 96th!

Love, Your “Cutie”

Hope for the best,

Tish

  • originally published 9/3/12

Sudden Death (20 years ago)

Dad

Tony Wiewel with his trademark bow tie.

20 years ago today was my Dad’s last day. Of course, who knows these things at the time?  I surely would have called to say goodbye or I love you or to thank him for about a million things.  He probably would have spent his last day in a different way too if only he knew.

Instead, he went to work like every other day.  Stopped home for lunch like always and sneaked in a little nap in the chair before returning to the office.  He and my mom finished off the day at a high school basketball game.  No one had a clue.

My son was working on a high school genealogy project and tried to call him that evening to get some birth and death dates for his side of the family. Oh well, he would try again Friday.

Dad and Mom knelt to say their prayers as was their ritual for their 45 years of marriage and I’m sure his falling asleep thoughts had nothing to do with his life being over in a few hours. He walked to the bathroom sometime during the night and that’s where he stepped into eternity.

Sometime around 4:45 AM my phone rang.  No one calls in the middle of the night just to say “Hi.”  I took the next train downstate and the heat didn’t work that night on the Amtrak.  I felt so cold for so many reasons.

My husband and children drove down the next day and I remember a trip to K-mart to buy funeral clothes for the kids.  We just hadn’t needed them yet. No one had a clue.

My brothers and Mom and I kept reminding ourselves he would have wanted it this way:  fast, no lingering, no nursing home but that didn’t make it any easier for us.

One thing that did make it easier was that we had no regrets.  Dad knew we all loved him and saw him as often as we could.  Oh we had some issues during the coming-of-age years but most of us do. Those were long resolved.

When I returned a few days later I noticed my son’s genealogy poster with my Dad’s death date now filled in. Who knew from the time the assignment was given until the day it was due how much our world would change?

20 years… No one had a clue.  I hope I do.

Hope for the best,

Tish

PS I wrote about my dad once before http://wp.me/pPRDV-mO

Miss you on your birthday, Dad

10510011

Tish around 4 years old.

Happy Birthday Dad!  Wish we could celebrate tonight with a pineapple upside down cake and off-key singing. You were always hard to buy for, as many men are, but now I could shop online for you and surely find something unique…but of course, you’re not around to open my gift.

Did I ever thank you for teaching me how to play baseball or ride a bike?  I didn’t like it at the time when you insisted I learn how to drive stick shift before I could get my license but I am so grateful now.  I taught my husband you know 🙂

There are cool stories about you floating around like how you were the Adams County tennis champ and your brief stint as a police officer.  I wish I could hear about those adventures in your words.  I know you worked hard for us, sometimes two jobs at a time.  BTW, I loved that second job at the drive-in when we all watched the movies over and over under the stars.  It probably wasn’t as much fun for you.

I know we had 44 years together but there was so much more we both could have said.  “Relationship Parenting” was not an operating principle in your generation but I knew you loved me.

I wish you could have met these fabulous great-grandchildren of yours.  I hope you can see them from your vantage point and you will be glad to know, Mom dotes on them every chance she gets.  Don’t worry, I will pass on the stories so they will know you too.

Tony Wiewel around 14 years old 9/31923-2/25/1994

So cheers to your 96th!

Love, Your “Cutie”

Hope for the best,

Tish



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