Posts Tagged 'Happy Marriage'

My Best Tip for a Happy Marriage*

1976

Before you got married did you have a “must-have-in-a-spouse” list?  How about a “this-is-what-I-expect-out-of-marriage” list? You might not have ever written it down but you knew what was on the list.

Although you might not have realized it right away, you probably didn’t get it ALL, right?

In a good marriage, most of the time your spouse/marriage will meet about 85-90% of your expectations of what you signed up for in a marriage, whatever was on your list. Take a minute to review your list, am I right?

10-15% of the time you might be frustrated or disappointed.

The choice is now yours:  You can give thanks for the 85-90%, celebrate and concentrate on that and be glad for what you’ve got OR you can focus on the 10-15% and feel deprived, depressed and whiny.

How happy you will be in your marriage depends on which perspective you choose.

Hope for the best,

Tish

* I am celebrating my 47th anniversary (August 18, 1973) and will be sharing a few popular marriage posts on Thursdays through August.

 

The (mostly) Universal Marriage Quirk*

Circa 1979

Turns out that the thing that most attracted you to your spouse in the first place is often the same thing that drives you the most crazy!

Let me show you a few examples….

Spontaneity is so fun when dating…making decisions in the moment for what’s next, ready anytime for a fun adventure.  You really like that quality in your spouse until it is time to PLAN something or to pin down details.

A “free spirit” personality can stand out in a crowd of conformists but becomes  frustrating when the wisest choice becomes to go with the flow.

Creativity is a delight to observe whether it is in the arts or crafts until mundane tasks get neglected too often.

Athleticism is a real draw unless sporting events fill your entire social schedule.

Careful with money can feel over-restrictive when you just want to have some fun.

Gorgeous can involve very high-maintenance or expensive services to preserve that beauty.

Sensitive can flip to moody.

Hard worker sometimes feels like someone’s always at the office.

Next time you feel an annoyance coming on, try to flip it back to the “other side.”  How does this thing that bugs you, serve you?  Can you look deeper and find the original trait and give thanks?

It helps to look at your own foibles through the lens of finding the strength on the other side too.  I haven’t yet identified just which of my attractive traits keeps my cabinet doors open all the time but I’m sure there is a connection!

Hope for the Best,

Tish

* I am celebrating my 47th anniversary (August 18, 1973) all year and will be sharing a few popular marriage posts on Thursdays through August.

My Best Tip for a Happy Marriage

Bride & groomBefore you got married did you have a “must-have-in-a-husband” list?  How about a “this-is-what-I-expect-out-of-marriage” list? You probably didn’t get it ALL, right?

In a good marriage, most of the time your husband/marriage will meet about 85-90% of your expectations of what you signed up for in a marriage, whatever was on your list.    Take a minute to review your list, am I right?

10-15% of the time you might be frustrated or disappointed.

The choice is now yours:  You can give thanks for the 85-90%, celebrate and concentrate on that and be glad for what you’ve got OR you can focus on the 10-15% and feel deprived, depressed and whiny.

How happy you will be in your marriage depends on which perspective you choose.

Old couple



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